-I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
-I will not waste chalk
-I will not skateboard in the halls
-I will not burp in class
-I will not instigate revolution
-I did not see elvis
-I Will Not draw naked ladies in class
-I Will not call the teacher "hot Cakes"
-They Are Laughing At Me, Not With Me
-Garlic Gum Is Not Funny
-I Will not xerox my butt
-Tar is not a plaything
-I will not encourage others to fly
-I will not fake my way through life
-I will not trade pants with others
-I will not drive to principal's car
-I will not do that thing with my tongue
-I am not a 32 year old woman
-I will not pledge alegiance to Bart
-I will not sell school property
-I will not cut corners
-I will not get very far with this attitude
-I will not make flatulant noises in class
-I will not belch the national Anthem
-I will not sell property in florida
-I will not grease the monkey bars
-I will not hide behind the fifth amendment
-I will not do anything bad ever again
-I will not show off (This is written in old English Font. Very Fancy)
-I will not sleep through my education
-Nobody likes sunburn slappers
-I am not a dentist
-Spitwads are not free speech
-High Explosives and school Don't mix
-I will not squeak Chalk
-I will finish what I Sta.. (Start)
-Bart Bucks are not legal tender
-Hamsters cannot fly
-Underwear should be worn on the inside
-The christmas pageant does not stink
-I will not torment the emotionally frail
-I will not carve gods
-I will not aim for the head
-I will not spank others
-I will not barf unless I'm sick
-I saw nothing unusual in the teachers lounge
-I will not conduct my own fire drills
-Funny noises are not funny
-I will not snap bras
-My name is not Dr. Death
-I will not fake seizures
-This punishment is not boring and meaningless
-I will not defame New Orleans
-I will not prescribe medication
-I will not bury the new kid
-I will not teach others to fly
-I will not bring sheep to class
-A burp is not the answer
-The teacher is not a leper
-Cofee is not for kids
-I will not eat things for money
-I will not yell "She's dead" during roll call
-The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
-I will not call the principal "Spud-Head"
-Goldfish Don't bounce
-Mud is not one of the for food groups
-I will not sell miracle cures
-No one is interested in my underpants
-I will return the seeing-eye dog
-I will not charge admission to the bathroom
-I will never win an emmy
-The cafeteria Deep Fryer Is not a toy
-All work and no play, makes bart a Dull boy
-I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
-I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
-I will not go near the Kindergarten turtle
-My homework was not stolen by the One-armed man
-I am not delightfully saucy
-Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
-The pledge of allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"
-I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
-There are plenty of buisnesses like show buisness
-Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
-I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball